Monday, November 15, 2010



No spark, ideas scorn the thought
To light untrammeled planes within the mind
No fleeting inspiration to be caught
No proud work signed
With joyous pen; frustration reigns, unkind
Blank paper stares unblinking, void of words
Whilst to the Fates my plume has been resigned
But hark!  A thunder in the sky, a gathering herd
And swift bright thoughts  rush in --
Sweet shining birds.

I've been stuck... for months.  I tend to be a creative fury kind of artist.  Pounding out the pieces, the ideas coming so quickly, my hands can't keep up with my mind can't keep up with my heart.  I tell myself to slow down, to be logical, to meditate.  But there's nothing logical when you're playing with fire.    And then... it comes.  This wall of emptiness surrounding me like a sleeping bag, pulling me inside and zipping me up tight.  My heartbeat slows down.  Thank God for the rest. 
Then I sit in that darkness and wait...
and wait...
and wait some more.
The questions start to come. 
Will it ever come back? 
Maybe I was crazy and it never was there to begin with.
Maybe I have no more worthy ideas.
Maybe I don't need to torture myself anymore pretending to be something I'm not.
Then the pressure starts.
People begin to ask.
When are you going to pick up those brushes?
Some even make demands.
I stay in my bag, zipped up tight.
Until suddenly I become curious.
I unzip a corner.
Light peaks through, warming me
by zip
by zip.

And outside the bag are all my beautiful colors..
They never left me at all.
They were the vessel for my emptiness...
not the other way around.

This creativity bowl was originally a thrift store find.  An unfinished, handmade wooden bowl, I was most perplexed as to how I could use the little whole on the bottom where the carver must have had it attached to a stand.  And I certainly wanted to do this little gem justice!  So when that dark, gloomy creative block comes, I can have the bowl right side up, remembering that my creativity has created this void in order to replenish and refill.  And as those ideas fly out of me, I can turn the bowl over to see what will grow.

1 comment:

Your thoughts are a blessing to me!

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